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John & Jodi Cantrell
Wedding Rituals
THESE DAYS THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT “UNITY” CEREMONIES THAT COUPLES WILL PERFORM TO SYMBOLICALLY UNITE THEM AS A COUPLE. SOME OF THEM I’M SURE YOU’VE SEEN AND OTHERS MAY BE UNFAMILIAR TO YOU. WHILE SOME ARE MORE SPIRITUAL AND BASED ON RELIGIOUS PRACTICES, OTHERS WERE BORN OUT OF CREATIVITY. HERE IS A CUMULATIVE LIST OF MANY OF THE CEREMONY RITUALS.
When should you do your unity ceremony?
It's important to remember that the exact order of your wedding ceremony will depend on your religion, culture, and personal preferences. Most unity rituals are performed after your officiant's remarks, shortly before you exchange vows and wedding rings, which is then followed by the celebratory first kiss.
Who should you include in your unity ceremony?
Certain wedding ceremony unity ideas will always include family members and loved ones, especially during cultural or religious ceremonies. For secular and non-denominational unity rituals, who you include is entirely up to you. If you and/or your partner have children and you're merging families together, it's common to include your children in the unity ceremony as well.
Whatever type of couple you are, there is a unity ceremony for you. Whatever style, religion, or venue you may have, there is something that fits everyone. Hopefully this cumulative list will guide you in the direction of what might be suitable for your ceremony.
Unity Candle Ceremony
This is among one of the more popular ceremonies with couples today. In this case, two small candles are placed on the side of one larger candle. The bride and groom each take a small candle that is pre-lit and together, they light the large candle in the middle. This symbolizes 2 flames becoming one, just as their lives are.
To symbolize two families becoming one, often times the Mother of the bride will approach the ceremony space and light the bride’s candle and the Mother of the groom will do the same for his candle. The couple then performs the ceremony. Although it is uncommon where the unity candle originated, it is still a great way to show your loved ones the unity of your marriage.
Sand Ceremony
The exact origins of this tradition are fuzzy, but sand pouring is one of the most popular wedding ceremony rituals around today. For this idea, the couple pours two separate vases of sand (usually in different colors) into the same vessel, creating a layered, one-of-a-kind pattern. From that point forward, it will be impossible to ever separate the colors, which represent the blending of two people forever. If you have kids, you can get them in on the action by asking them to add their own helping of sand.
Time Capsule/Love Letter Ceremony
This is a newer wedding ceremony ritual, but we love the romantic notion behind it. Jaime Mackey in Brides explains a wine box ceremony is a wedding ritual in which, during the proceedings of the wedding ceremony, a bottle of wine is enclosed into a box. Some couples opt to add an extra layer of meaning within the ceremony by including love letters, that they wrote prior to the ceremony, to one another alongside the wine, or by designating a specific occasion (such as a future anniversary) when the box will be opened and the wine will be drank. The first step would be to pick a wine of your liking. Be sure to choose one that will preserve well! Plus, most wines are stored better horizontally so be sure to make sure it will work well with how you plan on storing it! Lastly, incorporate the box into your ceremony. Have the wine and the box on display on a table near the altar, along with anything you wish to include in the box (such as letters to one another). When the time comes, have your officiant explain the significance of the wine box. Make sure he or she mentions the wine you've chosen and how long you plan to save the wine (or if you're going to open it to help you get through a tough time or on another occasion). Then, the two of you will place the wine and any accompanying items into the box and close the lid. Your officiant should explain that you will be sealing the box, but save the hammering for once you're back home, as a long pause in the ceremony for you to hammer the box shut could take a while! You could also choose a box with a latch and a lock, which you could more quickly close with a key mid-ceremony.
Washing of Hands/Feet Ceremony
If you want to practice the washing hands ritual during your big day, you will just need a mid size bowl filled with water and two hand towels. Once the wedding official gives you the permission to wash your hands together, you may do so and after which, you will need to wipe each other’s hands.
Foot washing is a Christian wedding ceremony ritual inspired by the Bible verses John 13: 1-17 in which Jesus washes his disciples’ feet. It is usually done to symbolize the couple's service, humility and commitment to each other.
Washing your partner’s feet is alternatively the same as washing of the hands. You just need a mid size bowl filled with water and a towel to execute this ritual. This custom signifies foregoing you and your better half’s misunderstandings in the past.
Tying the Knot Ceremony
Since you’re tying the knot, why not have a tying the knot ceremony? The ritual is unsurprisingly exactly what it sounds like - you and your partner will work together to tie a fisherman’s knot (one of the strongest and most reliable knots) with a rope at the altar. This style of knot grows stronger under pressure and is meant to symbolize the strength of your relationship.
Officiant Thomas Witham and Reverend Ann Fuller explain this ceremony as follows:
“Tying the knot is a wedding ritual whereby a couple ties a fisherman's knot after the exchanges of vows and rings. The couple, using large colored cords, ties this knot as the officiant reads a commentary. The theme of the commentary is that, like a fisherman's knot, marriage strengthens and supports the bride and groom through life and, like the knot, their marriage grows stronger under pressure.”
Cord of Three Strands Ceremony
Similar to the Tying The Knot ceremony, this popular wedding ceremony ritual has Biblical origins. As described in Ecclesiastes 4:12, the cord of three strands (also known as God's knot) is the most difficult cord to destroy or tear apart. The three strands represent you, your partner, and God joining as one. You can use loose cords of any kind for this ritual, but if you want to turn the braid into a keepsake after your wedding day, you can easily find decorative unity boards made especially for this tradition on sites like Etsy and Amazon.
Handfasting Ceremony
Handfasting ceremonies have been around for many years and has been a Celtic wedding ritual with medieval roots. The ceremony itself involves the officiant or celebrant tying (fasting) the hands of the happy couple together to declare their unity and secure their marriage. It’s not time-consuming or expensive, so it’s an easy way to add a little something extra to your wedding ceremony.
A handfasting ceremony can be tailor made to suit the couple. There are many variations of the traditional handfasting. After the bride and groom both declare their intent to enter into this union, the hands of the couple are clasped and fastened together with a cord or cords just before, just after, or during their vows are made to one another. The wrapping of the cord forms an infinity symbol. The handfasting knot that is tied is a symbolic representation of oneness between the couple. In a show of unity, they become bound to each other. Each colored cord has its own meaning, such as white for purity or red for passion. One custom may have the couple facing each other, binding both pairs of hands of the bride and groom. Another custom is to have only the right hands, and another one of each right and left. There are many variations of the handfasting rite. The handfasting ritual is a beautiful, magical rite of passage. Many couples are adopting this old custom, much like when couples borrow from other traditions to craft their own ceremony to match their distinctive personalities.
Tree/Flower Planting Ceremony
If you love nature almost as much as you love your partner, a tree/plant/flower planting ceremony will be right up your alley.
This wedding unity ceremony idea can be easily customized for any theme and personal style. It has no official religious or cultural ties, but the tradition itself symbolizes you and your spouse beginning a new life together. Taking care of your sapling tree (or whichever type of plant you choose) will remind you to nurture each other throughout your marriage, even when the honeymoon phase fades! Like flowers, trees symbolize different things—for example, cherry trees represent good fortune—so choose a type of tree that resonates with you the most. During this ritual, you and your spouse will take turns adding soil and water to the seedling.
This is a very eco-friendly, green option for a unity ceremony! Perfect for an outdoor ceremony whether it is a beach wedding, in a garden or forest. The Wedding Wish explains a tree planting ceremony as follows:
1) Set up at the altar to include potted tree (often taken from a special place, whether it be a parent’s home or a location special to the couple), two small buckets of dirt (each can be collected at the bride and groom’s respective homes or from each set of parents’ homes), and two gardening trowels. A small watering can be placed up front if desired as well.
2) Upon the mother’s entrance, each mother approaches the front and scoops in a small amount of dirt from their small bucket before returning to their seat
3) During a specific song or reading, the bride and groom each add the remainder of the dirt to the large potted tree. The couple can water the plant together as well at this point.
4) After the ceremony, take the potted plant, and transplant it at the newlywed’s home to symbolize putting down roots and longevity and strength within this marriage!
If you’re uncertain about planting a tree on the other hand, you may also choose to pot a plant instead. You’ll just simply need a plant, pot, potting soil and water and you’re good to go.
Passing of the Ring/Ring Warming Ceremony
The warming of the rings or passing of the rings, takes place when the couple’s wedding bands are passed around by guests during the ceremony. Unlike other ceremonies, passing the rings around is a way to include not just your parents but all the guests at your wedding. Prior to this couple's wedding, have someone responsible take custody of the couple's rings, tying them to a handkerchief or pillow (separately or together, one ring going down one side of the aisle and the other going down the opposite side). Each person is asked to briefly hold the rings in their hands while also saying a short, silent prayer or a blessing, for the couple. The rings are returned to the couple with blessings and positive energy for a long, happy marriage.
It is believed to be an Irish or Gaelic wedding ceremony tradition.
Stone Ceremony
As stated in Celebrateintimiateweddings.com, the stone ceremony or “oathing stone ceremony” embraces the old European tradition to add a meaningful highlight to your wedding ceremony. The Oathing Stone is an old Scottish tradition where the Bride and Groom place their hands upon a stone while saying their wedding vows. Called the oathing stone it was thought to be the best way to express your solemn promise in physical form. Taken from the ancient Celtic custom of setting an oath in stone, inclusion of an oathing stone in the vows can be deeply moving. Etching your vows in stone is a sacred symbol across cultures. In the Scottish tradition an oath given near a stone or water was considered more binding. In some areas of Scotland, the couple would carve their names on a tree or a stone. Some of these bridal stones still exist across Scotland. During the reading of the Bride and Groom's wedding vows, they hold an Oathing Stone in their hands. It is believed that holding the stone during the reading of the vows casts them into the stone. In a more modern version, the Oathing Stone can be engraved with the couple's initials in the middle, accompanied by the groom & bride's initials and date of their wedding. The source of an oathing stone, what minerals are in it, it's color, or other characteristics are less important than what is said over the stone.
Couples have opted to have seashells instead of stones for their beach weddings but placed the same sentimental value on the ceremony!
Another version of the stone ceremony is where guests will write a loving message on each stone, or simply make a wish on a stone and the bride and groom will keep the collection at the end of the day. This can also be done at the reception.
Wine Ceremony
Wine has been a symbol of life and prosperity for centuries. There are several variations of using wine during a wedding, especially at religious ceremonies, but a common option is to have two small carafes of wine, one white and one red. After exchanging rings, the couple pours the wines into a third carafe, creating a blend. They each take a sip of the mixed wine to represent their individual lives becoming one.
Paint Pouring Ceremony
If you're looking for a fun way to personalize your wedding ceremony, you'll love the paint pouring ritual. The concept is simple: you and your partner pour two different paint colors onto a blank canvas to symbolize your lives coming together as one. The end result is a one-of-a-kind piece of art that you can display in your home after you're married. This would also work well with blending a family. Each member of the family would have their own color to pour.
Jump the Broom Ceremony
This tradition dates back to the 1800s and is believed to have origins in western African weddings and Wiccan communities. Jumping the broom takes place at the very end of the wedding ceremony, after the officiant pronounces the couple as officially married. The newlyweds jump over a broomstick before the recessional to symbolize sweeping away their old lives and welcoming their new life together.